Author Archives: Paul Squire

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About Paul Squire

At approximately 00.30 on 16th June 2013 I awoke with a severe tightening in my chest. I was having a Heart Attack. I was 42 years old, happily married with two beautiful daughters. It was a shock! I guess you could have described me as "a heart attack waiting to happen". Isn’t the benefit of hindsight a wonderful thing! Since the Heart Attack a lot has changed!

A bit of a tit

Before I start, I want to re-assure everyone that I’m fine, feeling good, and not hurt in any way by any of the events described herein.  I have recovered from my mid-week tiredness, and I’m looking forward to a restful weekend.  I know people worry about me, and I appreciate it.  I will look after myself, and take things steady, but I’m not going to stop doing things, and “stuff” will happen.  That’s life!

Anyway, on with the story…

Since I’ve been cycling, people have spoken of injuries picked up in bike accidents.  Cuts and grazes here, fractured ribs there, a variety of debilitating and confidence draining injuries picked up in bike accidents.  Yes, it’s a little bit scary, but it comes with the territory.

I was fully protected, but in little danger!

Today I had a spill myself.  Actually, calling it a spill is over-egging it slightly.  There was no high speed collision, no mechanical failure, no twisted pile of limbs and wheels.  No, it was one of the world’s most slow, sedate cycling accidents ever.  In fact, it’d probably be more accurate to call it a casual topple.

I had a bad start to the day.  Embarrassingly, my topple occurred before I’d even left the car park to start my ride.  It was the classic, “brain not realising your feet are connected to the pedals” accident.  It was the sort of incident that would keep my father-in-law giggling for months.  An absent-minded over-balance followed by slow topple and desperate but unsuccessful attempts to arrest my fall.

Apparently it happens to everyone.  Today it was my turn.  I felt a bit of a tit to say the least!

To be fair, Colin (my cycling companion) did very well not to fall off his bike in sympathy (prompted by hysterics).  I probably would have done had I been in his position!  Fortunately there weren’t too many other witnesses.

After our ride this morning. Colin still trying desperately not to laugh at the memory of my topple!

Talking of idiots, we were buzzed by a couple of boy racers on the ride this morning.  I don’t understand how someone could derive pleasure from out-pacing a cyclist, but they seemed to.

Two particularly souped up cars caught our attention.  Both were noisy.  Very noisy.   One of them also seemed to have a James Bond-style smokescreen kit fitted.  Nice touch!  They must be very proud!

Nice, but does it have “Automatic Smokescreen” kit?

Tired and Grumpy

There are different sorts of tired:  Exhausted, Fatigued, Weary, Drowsy, Pooped, Jaded, Sleepy, Run Down, Flagging, Broken…

As predicted by people that know better than me, I was tired this morning.  Which sort of tired I don’t know exactly as it took me several hours before my brain had warmed up sufficiently to properly assess the situation. By which time the feelings had leaked away.

untitled (34)There are many days when I return from work feeling jaded.  A sort of dull fog gathers around my head and upper body as the work day wears on.  It’s not a positive tiredness, it’s one that grows despite you, rather than one you’ve actively gone out and earned.  Since the Heart Attack, I’ve found myself slightly more aware of this sensation, perhaps because I’m more aware (“listen to your body”) or perhaps because I’m affected more.

In the old days I would have poured myself a drink and the woes of the world would have drifted away.  Now, I choose exercise.  An hour on the bike is sufficient to blow the cobwebs away.  A post-exercise buzz, and everything is tickety-boo all over again.

I continue to sleep well, but occasionally wake up feeling sleepy.  Again, in the old world I would resort to chemical stimulants to liven me up.  A couple of strong coffees and I’d be “good to go”.

imagesCAFA5V8ZI’ve also eliminated caffeine from my diet, so I guess I’m a slower starter than I used to be.  This is, however, offset slightly by the fact that I am not impacted in any way by the after effects of alcohol and unhealthy late night snack-attacks!

As it turns out, the early morning sleepy feeling can also be accompanied by grumpiness.  Severe grumpiness on some occasions.

This morning was a case in point…

I had an introduction to the gym last night.  The 20:15 start time seemed fine when it was arranged, but as it happened, I got home from work feeling jaded.  I snuck in a very short period of shut-eye before getting ready, but not enough to make a real difference,

The introduction session was good.  It turned out that there is a lot I can still do in the gym, providing I’m sensible, and keep my feet moving.

By the time I finished, however it was 21:00, and I hadn’t actually done any exercise.  Having made the effort to get there, and inspired by the introduction, I figured there is no time like the present, and launched into a gym session.

Afterwards I felt great!  My exercise buzz wiped out my fatigue.  I was ready to take on the world.  By the time I got home, I was not however ready to sleep.

So I sat up for a while before heading upstairs…

“It was way past my bed time!”

“I would regret it in the morning!”

And I did!

So, sincere apologies to all the people who came into contact with me during the early part of today.  Lesson learned (again).

Louise – I’m sure your Fruit Juices are lovely.  It’s all very exciting!  🙂

imagesCABT2MT2

Fair weather golfer

I’ve always been a bit of a fair weather golfer.  I’ve never enjoyed playing golf in inclement weather.  I really don’t enjoy the hassle of waterproof clothing, umbrellas, wet grips, damp feet or the general misery of seeing a round fall apart (which is generally the way with my golf) wishing I was somewhere else.  Somewhere warm and dry.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy playing golf.  Up until recently, it’s been my primary escape outside work.  A few hours in the fresh air, enjoying the best of what Mother Nature has to offer.  It’s just that I prefer it in shirt sleeves rather than oilskins.

Not my favourite way of spending an afternoon!

Given there is a Scottish winter between me and the Euro City Cycle, I need to “Man Up!” on a number of fronts.  One of the important ones is braving the elements to get the miles in.

I could be a wuss, and do all my winter training on the Turbo Trainer in the garage, but there’s nothing like actually being out on the bike dealing with the gradients, the road conditions and the elements.  As my sessions get longer it may also get a little tedious despite the distraction of the Sufferfest videos.

So, I’ve made a pact with myself to get out despite the weather (assuming it’s safe to do so, of course!).

This morning was my first test… the weather was dreich* to say the least.  I’m proud to say that I got up and out anyway and did a solid solo 13 mile ride.

A dreich Scottish day!

I headed to the Railway Line for the ride again.  One of the benefits of a miserable morning was that it was quiet.  It seems that only dog owners were willing to brave the elements – even the few runners that were out seemed to have dogs in tow.

I say only dog owners, but I don’t strictly have evidence to back this up as I did spot a couple of other sportsmen doing their thing… standing in the middle of the River Dee, fly fishing.  Good Luck to them!

Dreich, but a beautiful morning for catching fish!

So, a new rule for me:

Don’t let the weather get in the way of doing the things you want to do!
(Except playing golf, perhaps!)

***

Dreich:  A combination of dull, overcast, drizzly, cold, misty and miserable weather. At least 4 of these adjectives must apply before the weather is truly dreich.

Scotland’s favourite word apparently, perhaps because it’s in such common use.  http://www.scotland.gov.uk/News/Releases/2013/01/favourite-word23012012)

A User’s Guide to Cardiac Rehabilitation

After 8 weeks and 16 sessions, I’ve finished my Cardiac Rehabilitation Programme.  Yahoo!

The course is complete however graduation will need to wait for my final assessment – to measure my progress since I started back in mid-July – I’ll do this in a couple of weeks.

A huge thank you to all the staff!

Rehab Team 1

The Rehab Dream Team: Kirstein, Maggie, Brenda and Bernard

The experience has been a wholly positive one for me.  Helping me to come to terms with the whole Heart Attack experience and get back to some sort of normal routine (although it will change again now Rehab is finished!).

One of the things I’ve never understood about the Cardiac Rehab is why more (eligible) people don’t make more use of it?

After you’ve had a Heart Attack, or been treated for some sort of Heart condition, you would imagine that you’d be past the denial stage – the game is up!  For many of us, we are in the fortunate position to make changes that will improve (and extend) our lives.  So why doesn’t everyone?

From my perspective, it’s time to make a positive change!  The Cardiac Rehabilitation Programme is what’s on offer to help… so take advantage of it!

I thought Rehab was a really important opportunity to take action, regain control, learn and reflect.  I’m therefore dedicating this update to de-mystifying Cardiac Rehab for people that may need it in the future…

The Structure of the programme

There were 3 distinct sections to Cardiac Rehab which ran two sessions a week:

  1. Exercise – 30 minutes of exercise tailored to your personal capability (using Treadmill, Cross-Trainer, Step Machine) with a facilitated warm up / cool down to get your heart working
  2. Relaxation – 30 minutes of relaxation to help you learn how to take control and chill out
  3. Education – 60 minutes of education on a variety of Heart & Lifestyle topics (once a week only)

In addition, your first (and last) session will be a Physical and “Happiness” Assessment.  You will be asked to do a “Beep Test” and to answer some questions on your state of mind (e.g. Are you happy?  Yes / No) .

Wear clothes that are suitable for exercising in – I went for full gym kit, but it really depends on what you’re comfortable in.  Don’t worry, it’s definitely not a fashion parade!

Free up time

The Cardiac Rehab sessions will take a minimum of 2 hours per week.  That’s if you just do the Warm-Up, Exercise and Cool-Down.  You’ll need to add an extra 1 hour per week for the Post-Exercise Relaxation and another hour for the Education session.  Factor in the journey to and from the hospital, and the time it takes to shower and change, and you’re looking at a fair commitment of time over the 8 weeks.

Personally, I considered this an investment in myself, in my future, for myself and my family.  A long overdue investment in my health and wellbeing.  Worth it?

Before you start

If you’ve followed the guidance, you will have been exercising regularly since leaving hospital.  Starting very gently, maybe 5 mins twice a day, and building up slowly.  You may be up to 30 mins twice daily, and feeling good, stronger and fitter. You will hopefully have gained confidence and be ready for the next stage.

As you start Cardiac Rehabilitation, you may well feel like you’re being held back, forced to go backwards even.  You will likely start your exercise sessions with 1 to 1 or 2 to 1 (minutes on a Heart Exercise Station to “rest”), slowly working up the amount of time you spend working your heart.

As you demonstrate your fitness and strength, the duration of exercise will steadily increase.  “Steadily” being the operative word!

Monitor your status

The Exercise sessions start and finish with Pulse and Blood Pressure measurements.  Changes in medication are also recorded.  I’ve found seemingly small changes in medication have had a big impact on how my heart responds to exercise – well worth monitoring so exceptions can be identified more easily.

I used my own Heart Monitor to keep an eye on my pulse throughout each exercise session.  It’s not really a requirement as there are monitors on most of the machines, but personally I found it reassuring to know where I was against my upper limit.

One of the key outcomes from Rehab will be to have an increased awareness of what you can safely do and how you feel when exercising at the right level of intensity.

State of the Art Gym

Our “State of the Art” Cardiac Rehab Gym

The warm up

I found the warm up quite uncomfortable the first couple of times I did it (embarrassing uncomfortable not physically uncomfortable).  If you imagine the lightest, lowest impact aerobics ever, and then tone it down (right down) you’ll get a sense of the level of exertion.

I realised after a while that it is, after all, a warm up for a group of people suffering from Heart Disease.  Gentle is probably the way forward!

I got used to the Warm Up after a few weeks.  I guess this is a reflection on how well you’re coming to terms with toning down your behaviour to take account of the fact that you’ve had a Heart “Event”!

The cool down is similar, but even more gentle!

Pace yourself

You need to bare in mind that 8 weeks is quite a long time.  Although I’m sure you’ll be keen to get back to normal, it’s an opportunity to build up at a sustainable pace.  You will make progress, just don’t be in too much of a hurry.

If someone turns down the resistance on your work-out machine, reducing the intensity of your work out (and they may well do!), take a deep breath and, if you’re feeling strong, increase your speed.  You can still do the same amount of work, but in different ways.

Build confidence

You’ve probably already realised that the aftermath of a Heart Attack isn’t all about you.  To a large degree, the people that you’re close to, that you interact with from time to time are more important.

Part of the recovery process is giving everyone (including yourself) time to re-build confidence in what you can safely do, to trust that you’re not going to do yourself damage or put yourself in danger again.

Well, the Cardiac Rehab Team are people too.  They too will build confidence over time, but it does take time.

Do your homework

I think it’s important to continue to exercise regularly while you’re on the Programme.  That means continuing to exercise at home, between Rehab sessions.  That way you’ll really feel the benefit of the exercise and build your strength over the duration of the course.

Relaxation

The Relaxation sessions followed a common routine…  participants either lie on a bed / floor mat, or sit in a chair, and start by focussing on deep breathing, followed by tensing and relaxing muscles from Toe to Head.  The process is facilitated by an instructor reading a well-worn script.

There then followed a variety of other relaxation techniques, again following instructions.

Imagine yourself in a warm, comfortable place…

To be honest, for the last few weeks, I switched off by the time the initial relaxation was complete.  Overly relaxed perhaps?  I have to admit, I was guilt of being the rogue snorer on one occasion (one that I’m willing to own up to anyway!).  I definitely wasn’t the only one!

The relaxation techniques are useful for winding down in everyday life, both to take a few minutes out from a stressful day, or to help respond positively to difficult situations (deep breath, drop your shoulders…).

Education Sessions

The education sessions included:  Diet, Medication, Preparing for the future, Stress Management, Anatomy of the heart, Getting back to “normal”.

One of the major benefits of Cardiac Rehab is having the opportunity to talk to other people in a similar situation.  As the members of the group change over the 8-weeks, you will meet and share experiences with people at different stages of their Rehabilitation.  This is informal, but valuable and rewarding.  I really enjoyed seeing people’s confidence growing week by week.

And then it’s over…

I’m more or less on my own now, at least for the time being.  I already have a gym assessment scheduled and I’ve signed up for swimming lessons.

untitled (31)

Swimming… yes. Butterfly… I don’t think so!

For me, Cardiac Rehab created some structure to the recovery process.  I had come through my initial 4-week recuperation, and was ready to return to work.  Cardiac Rehab made me focus on myself 2 mornings a week.

Memories of the initial feelings to the Heart Attack are quickly forgotten.  It’s all too easy to fall back into bad habits, to proceed as if nothing has changed.  The 8 week Rehabilitation process provides some extra time to fall into good habits, to seek guidance and support.

It was also really nice to be part of a little group.  Although there were a diverse range of individuals participating, we all had something in common, none of us were strange (at least not because of our Heart conditions!).  Most importantly, I think everyone genuinely cared about each other.

Good luck to my fellow participants current and future!!!

Artists impression of my Cardiac Rehab group!

My next (big) challenge

As I approach the end of my Cardiac Rehab sessions, I need a challenge to help keep me focused and motivated throughout the dark cold winter nights.

This is an important decision for me.  It will create the structure of my next phase of my recovery.  I need to select something that is realistic and achievable, but also something reasonably challenging. Challenging enough to keep me interested, fit and focused!

I checked out the British Heart Foundation website for ideas.  Given my recent fitness exploits, it made sense to look at their cycling options.  They offer a large number of interesting choices… the extravagantly exotic, outrageously “foreign” and luxuriously lengthy options were ruled out fairly quickly.  I also eliminated the mundane… it’d be good to do something a little bit different!

Having tested a few options with the family (where I successfully tested the boundaries of exotic, foreign and lengthy), I landed on…

untitled (29)

…a Bike Ride from London to Amsterdam to Brussels.

280 miles over 4 days starting on 7th May 2014.

Along the way, I’m also hoping to raise a few quid for the British Heart Foundation.

eurocitycycle_imm-banner

This is the sort of climbing I like!

Excitedly I went to register for the trip.  Unfortunately, my first attempt was a complete anti-climax.  ironically my attempt failed on a web page with the title “Your challenge starts here”… it appears it does!!!  Having spent some time typing in my long list of medication, I was a little frustrated to say the least!

Anyway, I eventually resorted to the manual telephone method, and I’m now all signed up!

All I need to do now is raise some cash, get properly fit and persuade a GP to sign my “fit for fun” letter in advance of the trip.  All very exciting!!!

I hope you’ll join me every step of the way!

Click here to sponsor me

Out and about

It was another cracking morning in the North East of Scotland this morning.  I marked it with my latest venture out on the bike.  It’s the second weekend I’ve been out early, not quite the crack of dawn, but certainly a good start to the day.  It’s definitely a routine to get into!

Beautiful Morning

A cracking morning to be out on the bike!

As a result of my recent “Sore Leg” post, I have received some guidance that the reason my legs have been hurting is because the cleats on my shoes were slightly at the wrong angle.  Having made some subtle adjustments to my shoes, it felt much more comfortable.  Hopefully problem solved… it’s good to share your woes!

This morning’s ride was the longest continuous effort I’ve put in since my Heart Attack.  We went at a steady rate and kept going.  We covered about 16.5 miles in just over an hour (including spending some time trying to correct a mechanical “knocking” sound that turned out to be the lid of my water bottle rattling against the frame!!).  It didn’t feel fast, but it felt quite tough.

Morning Ride

The first of many loops around Westhill – slightly more undulating than the Turbo Trainer!

I do have to remind myself that I’m recovering from a Heart Attack, and back this up with frequent checks of the Heart Monitor.  I am however also making up for about 20 years of physical neglect, so my of my body is at the limit, not just my heart!

It really is great to be out and about though.  It gives me confidence that I’m making good progress.  I’m just about to enter my last week of Cardiac Rehabilitation, so it’s a good time to start to (slowly) push the boundaries!

My poor old legs

I feel a little sorry for my legs.

After years of neglect, I have asked quite a lot of them recently.

man-shaving-one-leg

My legs have been abused, but not this badly!!!

My legs had little, if anything, to do with my Heart Attack but they’ve been required to play quite a significant role in my road to recovery.  Walking, cycling, cross-trainer… I would have struggled to get this far through my recovery without them!

They have had little in the way of assistance.  Other than the occasional stretch, they’ve been left to their own devices.  Conversely, my Heart has had the assistance of lots and lots of drugs to help it recover, to make it more efficient, to help it out.  My legs have had none.

Over the past couple of weeks my legs have started to fight back.  Little niggles have made getting moving in the morning a slow process.  Aches and pains have come and gone.  Nothing bad enough to stop me from exercising, but sore enough to be a constant reminder.

I’m going to need to cajole my legs into coming along for the ride (quite literally!).  They continue to have an important part to play in my on-going recovery.  Hopefully the niggles will recede in time.  I certainly won’t be taking them for granted again!

Over 40 Health Check

There have been a number of stories in the UK Press recently about the value (or lack thereof) in “Over 40 Health Checks” (example http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-23765083).  Given my recent experiences, I feel that I should have an opinion on this.

NHS-Health-Check

Cheeky! It tends to be too cold in Aberdeen for this sort of nonsense!

The argument for the tests is that the programme could prevent 1,600 heart attacks and strokes, avoid at least 650 premature deaths, prevent over 4,000 new cases of diabetes and detect 20,000 cases of diabetes or kidney disease earlier.

The argument against is based on the fact that most people who need the test the most are the least likely to volunteer.  As a result, people that are perhaps lower risk go through the stress of the tests and may get offered medication they don’t necessarily need.  The money could perhaps be spent targeting higher risk groups for more direct interventions.

I’ve had a few days to think about this, and I’ve struggled to reach a conclusion.

From a personal perspective, I have never had a test, and wasn’t planning on getting one in the near future.  If I had undergone the test a few days before my Heart Attack, what would it have told me?

untitled (28)I suspect my Cholesterol would have been high, and I would have been told I would benefit from losing some weight.  Maybe it could have told me more, but we would have been dealing with degrees of risk (as far as the Heart Attack was concerned anyway) rather than absolute certainties.  The tests may have been more conclusive.

Who knows?!  I didn’t give it a try.

Having survived my Heart Attack it’s easy to forget the fact that 1 in 3 people in the same situation don’t even make it to hospital.  Avoiding Heart Attacks is a very good thing!

I’m not sure what would have prompted me to take the test in the first place.  I guess that’s the bigger issue.  Perhaps I’m missing the fact that I was one of the difficult to reach, high risk individuals!

Given the tests are available, if you’re over 40, I would suggest you take a deep breath and get yourself checked out.  You don’t have an excuse for not doing it… I’ve told you to!  We can leave it to the policy makers to worry about whether it’s good value for money or not.

Health Check

The summer’s over

The summer’s over.  The girls have gone back to school, marking the end of a rather different summer holiday.

Thanks to my little incident, Disney World was exchanged for Codona’s Aberdeen and Daytona Beach for Cullen.  Thanks goodness the weather was good!  I think fun was had by all.

Who needs Disney World?!

Right on cue the days are getting noticeably shorter and there has definitely been a turn in the weather.  The last three mornings have been greeted with a heavy, persistent fog.  Rather than the refreshing blanket of moisture that started the balmy days of summer, there is no obvious end to the mist, no sun to brighten up our day, just the promise of the darkness and damp to come.

As we enter a new phase, I fear it’ll be easy for the memory of my Heart Attack to fade.  I’ve met several people recently who have been through similar experiences and can’t remember the details of the event.  Everything has gradually returned to normal, and the old bad habits have crept back in.

I am very keen that this doesn’t happen to me.  I can be very focused when I want to be, but stamina is not a strong point and I’m not the best “completer / finisher”.  The new health and fitness regime is going well, but I need to make sure it stays that way!

This doesn’t describe me very well! I can do it but it’s hard work.

The current phase of my Cardiac Rehab will be finished in 3 weeks which will mark another big change.  I know it’s going to be increasingly difficult to get motivated to exercise when it’s cold, dark and wet.  I’m going to have to find myself some new forms of exercise to keep my interest up…

It’s a marathon not a sprint!
(and, incidentally, I believe you’re more likely to be successful if you dress appropriately!)

I’ve never been to an Exercise Class at a Gym, but this could be a good time to start!