I was at the point where I wanted to go home, return to some sort of normality, but slightly concerned it may be a little early. What would happen if something went wrong? Will I be tempted to do too much? Will we all cope without the nurses?
The one test I still had to have was the Heart Echo – critical as it’d provide an insight on how much permanent damage had been done to my heart.
Fortunately I didn’t have to wait too long… my number came up first, just as my toast and marmalade was being polished off.
It was strange being able to see my “broken” heart working away inside me. I knew they were measuring different dimensions, capacities, throughput rates, pressures, etc. I could see everything on the monitor, but I had absolutely no idea what anything meant.
I couldn’t stop thinking of people I’ve known at work that were “OK” at their jobs, or new to their roles, learning as they went.
It felt to me like the Sonographer had quite an important role for me at that point in time. I hoped she was good!
I didn’t have to wait long for the results…
The diagnosis was that the permanent damage was low to intermediate, “to be expected” apparently. This meant that I would not be able to drive for 4 weeks (there was an outside chance it could have been only 1) and, if I wanted, I could leave hospital today… but leaving tomorrow was fine too. My call…
Right… decisions… (I’m getting out of practice!)
- If I can, I will stay an extra night. This will give us all time to get our heads around the idea of having a cardiac patient in our house
- Given it’s 4 weeks till I can drive, I may as well tie-in my return to work. It had been bothering me. Initially, the tendency was towards “the sooner the better”, but I don’t have to rush and I want to be able to do a proper job when I return. I could start after a couple of weeks, but who knows what shape I’d be in. Being able to commit to a date is important. 14th July it is!
Having made the decision, I’m told they need the bed.
“We need the bed. Could you leave today?”
“This afternoon would be good.”
I texted Louise. Much excitement (panic?!). Arrangements to be made (school pick-up, snacks, etc.). As soon as everything had been sorted…
“It’s alright. I’ve spoken to the doctor. You are staying another night.”
Thank goodness for SMS and understanding relatives!