I’d never really thought about the pace at which I live my life. The heart attack has forced me to think about everything I do. I guess I’ve been “flat out” or “dead stop”:
- Up and out in the morning. I rush around the office, walking a little bit faster than everyone else. Juggling balls as I go. I’ve even realised that I shower and clean my teeth fast, hard, with vigour.
- When I’m not working, I’ve tried to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Resting from the exertions of work.
Life is slow from a hospital bed. I’ve only been here three days, but it seems like for ever.
I guess things will take time to feel normal. At the moment it’s not possible to walk (shuffle) around without worrying about something going wrong. Every twinge is a possible emergency (and there are a lot of twinges!). Showers are a deliberate affair. Tooth cleaning delicate. The vigour is gone… for the time being at least.
Even just lying peacefully I can feel every heart beat. A constant reminder.
My final hours in hospital are spent watching the cricket.
Apparently, up until recently, TV was “not allowed” for the first week after a heart attack. After “Saving Private Ryan”, I have some sympathy with this view. I am fortunate however that the cricket isn’t too much of a contest, the South Africans kindly capitulate removing any tension.
Then it’s goodbye… and home!