Tag Archives: Family

Hanging around the pool

Nephew #3 was the highlight of our New Year gathering… just two year’s old, he’s a cheeky chappie and full of life.

Constantly on the move, he alternates between bouncing and running, vigorously waving “Hello” and “Goodbye” at each end of his frequent journeys.

He’s at that wonderful stage where he wakes up every morning with no idea what is going to happen during the day but confident that whatever it is it’s going to be great!

He’s almost talking, but not quite. He can communicate with sound but with few words. He makes himself understood… mostly… he makes himself heard… always!

He’s a real star and more than happy to be the centre of attention, selecting different members of the family to accompany him as he goes about his business of the day.

New Year really wouldn’t have been the same without him around!

Brother & Nephew, Father & Son

With the weather hampering plans to visit play parks, we decided to go swimming together – a favourite pastime of Nephew #3 and also a chance for me to get some proper exercise.

Abingdon Leisure Centre has a large Toddler’s swim area next to a wide, shallow main pool, all within one huge open area. It was a bit different to the claustrophobic box (relatively) I normally swim in. The width of the main pool accommodated 6 lanes with room left over for a recreational section next to the Toddler’s Pool. Although there were a quite a few swimmers, there seemed to be ample space, it certainly didn’t feel crowded.

I was to arrive early, about 45 minutes before my Brother and Nephew, so I could have a “proper” swim first. They were to join me for the fun bit at the end.

A simple plan. What could possibly go wrong?

After 45 minutes I started looking out for them. They hadn’t arrived yet, so I did a few more lengths.

50 minutes passed, then 60… more lengths.

“What could possibly go wrong?” I thought to myself again… this time actually looking for answers.

The lengths were becoming more challenging as I got increasingly tired. The rest breaks became longer and more frequent… I was definitely now “waiting” rather than “swimming”.

It then struck me how difficult it is, as a middle-aged man in this day and age, to innocuously “hang around” a swimming pool… I began to feel increasingly paranoid and self conscious. Parents appeared to be getting uncomfortable too, at least one eye on me at all times. I’m sure an extra Life Guard was drafted in specifically to watch me.

Time continued to pass…

Having considered my options (at length by this stage), the only two viable alternatives appeared to be (1) to continue to swim, doing lengths for as long as I possibly could or (2) to leave the pool, get changed and start again when the rest of the party arrived. I really couldn’t see anything good coming from waiting in the Changing Area, the Toilets, or in the Showers.

So more lengths it was.

Eventually, after 80 minutes, Brother & Nephew #3 arrived, chirpy and raring to go, without a care in the world. After an indeterminable further wait they emerged from the Changing Area… I could feel everyone breathe a collective sigh of relief as I joined them. The additional Life Guard returned to do whatever member of the Life Guard SAS do when they’re on a break… Threat Level Green.

Abingdon Leisure Centre

After a few minutes of splashing, Nephew #3 started to cry. Not being able to say exactly what was wrong some frantic pointing ensued. It was not clear what the issue was.

I’m no expert, but I could sense he was not happy. The crying continued…

Brother: “He’s never usually like this. He loves his swimming”

Not today!

And so, after about 7 minutes of fun family swim time we called it a day.

Eventually a packet of Quavers managed to quell the flow of tears. The trauma receded, finally being laid to rest by a pre-lunch nap… and Nephew #3 got over it eventually as well!

Wasting time together

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We headed “down South” this week to spend the New Year with my family. It was a relatively rare gathering of my immediate family; Mum & Dad, Sister, Brother, Nephews and Nieces. It was even more rare for us to spend so much time together; typically visits are restricted to a weekend arranged around a family event or celebration.

As well as featuring my first dry (and sober) New Year’s Eve since the 1990’s, the extended visit and miserable weather presented the opportunity to waste time together, catching up on events and developments in each others lives.

Our New Year celebrations were a little more subdued!

It was great to see everyone! We seem to have had more than our fair share of challenges over the past year; emotional, physical and psychological. However, we are fortunate… and I am particularly fortunate to have such a strong, supportive and generous family.

As you would anticipate, food and drink were a major feature of the visit. Despite significant temptation, I managed to stay on the straight and narrow, even when presented with a variety of delightful desserts, cheeky cheeses and some of the most extravagant Burgers I’ve ever seen (the “Surf, Turf and Cluck” Burger in particular looked mighty fine!). How my Sister and Mum managed to keep producing meals I have no idea, but we’re all very grateful! Thanks!

***

Inevitably, in time, the competitive embers were stoked by younger members of the family and a “Girls vs. Boys” challenge was thrown down. The games tested our knowledge, skill and nerves, culminating in a win for the Boys… of course! To be fair, we benefited from the fact that the game was produced in 1995 and some of the questions were rather dated, particularly for those born in the 00’s!

A late Christmas gift allowed me to demonstrate my creative prowess as I built and painted a Pirate Ship. The present included an Eye Patch and Treasure Map, but I resisted the temptation to become a fully fledged Pirate… perhaps next year!

Personally, I’m relieved to be heading into 2014 “on the up”. I’m able to reflect on the trials of the past and look forward with optimism. While others are in a similar position to myself, I feel for people that have experienced a loss, or are still on their challenging journeys and fearful of what the future might hold.

I wish everyone a Happy, Healthy and Successful 2014!

It’s all about me

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I originally wrote the majority of the following on 28th June, within two weeks of having my Heart Attack. At the time I wasn’t comfortable publishing it. A post I recently read, written by the wife of a Heart Attack Survivor (Wherein the Sh*tty-A$$ Heart prevails), reminded me of it.

Life is good for us now. We’ve come a long way since June. So, no particular reason for publishing this now, but I thought I’d share it to help complete the story.

***

It’s all about me

Actually it’s not. Not even remotely.

When everything is going well and life is “tickety-boo”, it too easy (for me at least) to get caught up in my own world. Oblivious to most of the goings on around me, at least those that don’t impact me directly. I look after myself, deal with my business, and expect everyone else to deal with theirs.

Up until now, this is how I’ve tended to operate. It’s how I am.

I don’t feel so independent any more. My bubble has been burst. The whole Heart Attack episode has given me a heightened awareness of the many personal dependencies, connections and influences there are in my life.

Of course, there are the children; totally dependent, innocent, scared. There’s never a good age, but my girls are too young to see their Dad in a hospital bed. They are too young to have to deal with something like this, I felt terrible for putting them through it. They have been very brave. They provide support and make us laugh. Just being around introduces a sense of normality to proceedings.

Louise, my wife is now more of a Nurse, Carer and, of course, Mum. She holds things together. She is generally cautiously positive, planning my recuperation and beyond. I’m sure there are times when she is scared too. It sounds silly when you write it down, but me dying would have a much bigger impact on her than on me. I don’t really think about it… she does, a lot.

Then there’s our Family and Friends, Business Partners and Clients. The news of the Heart Attack will impact each and every one in a slightly different way. For some the news will generate the biggest impact… Why? How?. For others it’ll be the consequences, immediate and longer term… So what?, What now? What will change?.

After the surprise or even shock, with most people there is genuine concern for me combined with a hint of selfish curiosity; “What could this mean for me?”. I totally understand. What else would you expect? Apparently the 40-somethings are concerned… sales of salads are rocketing in the office.

Even strangers pay more attention than normal. They want to understand how it could have happened, how can they prevent it from happening to them. I wish it was simple…

Me: “I had a Heart Attack because I used to eat 15 Snickers a day.”
Them: “Oh, that’d do it.”
Me: “I’ve given up Snickers so I should be fine now.”
Them: “Oh, that’s a relief!”
Me: “Do you eat too many Snickers?”
Them: “No.”
Me: “So, you should be fine then. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Them (Smiling): “Yes, thanks.”

I wish it was that simple.

It’s tough because there are few easy answers. I want to be able to get my head around it all. I want to understand why it happened. I want to know what the implications are. I want to be able to explain it to everyone. Then I want to get back to normal.

Unfortunately that’s not going to happen. Some things may become clearer in time, others will remain a mystery. That’s life I guess.

So ultimately it is all about me… but not just me me, it’s about you me, and her me and him me too… it’s all about us!