Anger | Heart attack waiting to happen

On Monday some research was announced linking Anger to Heart Attacks. Given I wrote about a similar topic not so long ago (Anger Management), it was interesting to see some real research supporting my ramblings.

Don’t make me angry!

The story became a bit of a regular feature on BBC Radio throughout the day. I wasn’t following closely, but suspect it was a bit of light relief from ongoing developments in Ukraine and the Pistorius trial.

Out of the blue, I was contacted by a lady called Liz, a Researcher from the PM Programme on BBC Radio 4: “Would I be interested in being interviewed as a case study?”.

After I’d convinced myself (1) it wasn’t a complete wind-up and (2) I wouldn’t have to provide any Bank Account Details, I responded… Yes, I was interested in participating but unfortunately I was travelling, so finding a convenient time to talk might be difficult.

To be honest, I was also slightly concerned about a live interview. The last thing I wanted to do was feature as a case study on a “People who have Heart Attacks live on the Radio” feature in months to come!

So, I found myself talking to Eddie Mair about my Heart Attack and my feelings of Anger that preceded the event. About an hour later I appeared on BBC Radio 4’s PM programme. All quite surreal!

Eddie Mair

You can hear the interview here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03wpjg6
(I’m on at approx. 41 minutes into the programme)

Prepared as ever, I had notified close family members that I might be on Radio 4 at 6 pm. Unfortunately I was travelling at the time and got my time zones confused. Amusingly this resulted in Daughter #2 listening to Radio 4 News for 30 rather tedious minutes. She had a bit of a sense of humour failure at my mistake but, learning from her father, she took a deep breath and didn’t let it get her angry. She is however much better informed on current affairs than ever before!

A brief mention of the Blog following the interview resulted in unprecedented “hits” for the following few hours. It also resulted in many more Comments and Contacts than I’ve ever experienced before. It was all very exciting!

Incidentally, a big thanks to everyone that has taken the time to get in touch!

It was a real, practical demonstration of the power of the media for me. The exposure resulted in a daily traffic level over 5 times higher than I’ve had before. It’s a level which is going to be tough to get close to again. Tough, but I’ve got a few ideas up my sleeve!

I used to get angry, very angry. I could get disproportionately angry at little things. I could feel the frustration growing in my belly, bubbling up inside.

I didn’t ever really have mechanism for venting my feelings. Some people shout, others slam doors or hit things. One of my former bosses had an elaborate array of ways to express his anger, all unpleasant and highly visible. He had proper grown up temper tantrums. I just used to get wound up and moan at people close to me, people that really didn’t deserve it.

My frustration would fester throughout the day, re-emerging every time I thought about the triggers. I’d regularly get home in a bad mood, and have a drink to help “chill out”.

Angry? Me?

I had a run-in with someone about 48 hours before my Heart Attack. A short, bad tempered interaction that left me fizzing. I was busy, trying to juggle too many things. We had a difference of opinion that quickly got heated. I’m not sure if, in itself, it was that exceptional an event. However, it’s significance increased when I ended up in hospital having undergone a Cardiac Procedure.

The individual actually sent me an email the following Monday, about 24 hours after my Heart Attack, wanting to continue our “discussion”. I just apologised and told him he was right. I was wrong.

Since my Heart Attack things have been different. I don’t see the Red Mist in the way I used to. I just don’t get the feelings in my stomach that I used to. I seem to find it much easier to let things go, to move on.

I have recently read a few articles on the detrimental health impacts of anger. It certainly couldn’t have helped me. Whether it was a symptom or a cause of my Heart Disease, things seem to have changed for me since last summer. I don’t know exactly why, but there are at least three factors that may have contributed to this change:

Medication: My medication keeps my blood pressure artificially low. Would this influence how I would react to frustrations or not? Perhaps it’s just a positive psychological factor.
Exercise: I am doing a lot more exercise which itself helps to relieve tension and stress. My regular sessions perhaps help dissipate any latent frustration so I just don’t get the build-up that I used to.
Perspective: The Heart Attack provided a me with a different scale of what’s important and what’s not. Some of the things that used to wind me up make me cringe thinking about them.

I’m assuming that I still generally get myself into similar situations as I used to. The world didn’t suddenly become cleansed of unfairness, free of idiots or clear of ignorance. Things still wind me up (all too frequently I’m afraid), they just don’t have the same short or long term effect on me.