I’d like a “Man Salad”

I’ve found eating out tricky since I’ve been watching what I eat.  I want to eat healthily.  I want to eat a varied diet.  I want to eat well.  However, one of the big challenges is that despite this, I still have a man’s appetite.

Deep Fried Cheese & Chips. Tasty, but not the healthiest option!

My menu options are extremely limited in many of the places we go out to eat.  I guess people offer what sells. For example, it’s surprisingly common to find deep fried cheese and chips as the (what I would expect to be “healthy”) vegetarian option!

I realise I’m overly strict on myself with my menu selections (some might argue I’m getting close to the point of obsession).  I am definitely being more strict than I need to be (technically I can eat anything, just not loads of the wrong stuff).  In my defence, I feel like I’m on a roll and I’d like to stick to it.  It seems to be doing me good, so why change it?

Since the Heart Attack, I’ve generally favoured Sushi joints for socialising as I get a good selection of food that I know hasn’t got lots of hidden bad stuff in it.  This does however result in tricky stand-off when I eat with someone who’s allergic to seafood!  I have also discovered that teenage kids can only take so much fish!  So going out starts to become an issue.

Not what I had in mind!

The menu restrictions often result in me ordering some sort of salad (dressing on the side).  The good thing is that I like salad ingredients, some of them a lot.  The bad thing is that my hunger is rarely fully satisfied.  Why?  Just because you order salad doesn’t mean you have the appetite of a tortoise.

I think the logic must go along the lines of:

  • People who order salads are watching what they eat …
  • People who watch what they eat want to lose weight…
  • People who want to lose weight need to eat less…
  • To help them eat less we’ll give them a smaller portion…
  • Therefore, people who order salads get smaller portions!!!

No!!!  What I really want is a “Man Salad”.

Some places “get it” (see last night’s example below), most don’t.

Man's Salad

That’s what I call a salad. Nicely loaded on a large plate.
Substantially more than a nibble!

How nice would it be for an order to go along the lines of:

Waiter / Waitress:  “… and for you sir?”
Me:  “I’d like a Salmon Salad please.  Can you bring the dressing on the side.”
Waiter / Waitress:  “Certainly sir.  And, how hungry are you?”
Me:  “Oh, I’m hungry.”
Waiter / Waitress:  “Then we shall prepare you a proper salad sir.  A man’s salad.  Would you like a larger table?”

6 thoughts on “I’d like a “Man Salad”

  1. imadrop

    Well done!! sorry that your heart ask for more care, but never is too late!! I think if we start to order more healthy meals, the food industry will need to start to really care. Sushi is my favorite meal, but I’m a little skeptical about the seaweeds and the Fukoshima accident, I don’t know if these are so healthy any more :S, portions are bigger for a simple reason: How they will justify the overprice? well I wish to us the best in a healthier life 😀


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  3. russtourant

    Like the article. It’s unfortunate, but logically speaking, restaurants cater to the majority and the majority of people do not eat healthy or care to for that matter. You can definitely have that response from a server. I have jokes for every single one of my regulars. I know how to make them all smile because I know exactly what they want. Try having a little fun with your regular restaurant. Definitely watch the sushi, no only for mercury, but now it’s probably glowing from Fukoshima. Happy eating!!


    1. Paul Squire Post author

      Just to let you know that I tried a friendly, slightly jocular request for a “Man-sized Salad” today. The waiter didn’t get it. He just looked at me like I was a bit weird! I guess I’ll have to just keep on trying! 🙂 Happy days!



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